What stops us from being authentic?
Living according to what's important and worthwhile to us is more easily talked about than carried out when the needs of family, employers or other large systems limit or influence our priorities. Three common barriers to alignment addressed in counseling for ahhthenticity are: Stifling, Meddling and Pleasing. Paradoxically, all three methods of coping with anxiety actually intensify perceived stress.
Stifling tucking away parts of ourselves to function well in society. Some of us carry it to the point of stifling aliveness so that our sense of satisfaction and health are negatively impacted.
Meddling oppressing anyone or anything that threatens a positive outcome. Some of us overstep our bounds to the degree that our relationships and health are damaged. Meddlers unintentionally push people away with their over-responsibility.
Pleasing acting overly nice toward people we care about. Some of us over-accommodate to the point that we harm ourselves. Pleasers unintentionally push themselves away by ignoring their own needs.
What all three have in common is a poor relationship with self. The way we treat ourselves teaches others how to treat us, so if we treat ourselves disrespectfully, we encourage others to do the same.